Blog Humbug

I just got this email thru MySpace:

I am BPM's girlfriend...exgirlfriend. I am writing to warn you about him. He seems sweet and innocent at first, but he has a long list of Asian exgirlfriends that he has cheated on.

He told me that he loved me yesterday, then left without saying a word last night. He is living with me...WAS living with me, I had to get my locks changed this morning.

Were you with him last night?

If you see him again, ask him about (insert list of girls), and his current Korean Female roommate that he wouldn't mind kissing. And how many girls he has cheated on...and they were all Korean.

Also, I have to warn you he gave me high-risk HPV, its an STD. HE knew that he had it, but didnt tell me. I have to go in for a biopsy again - twice in three months. I am telling you all of this so that you can protect yourself...and condoms do not work, you can contract high-risk HPV from skin to skin contact.  I now have a low immune system, which is causing more problems than I care to discuss on myspace.

After you get to know him, he will become a financial leech. He is lazy and unmotivated, and will take advantage of you.

I think this was sent to me by JK, who saw that I was one of his top friends and Asian.  I'm not quite sure how to respond.  Is it true?  Or is she just trying to sully his name?  I have no idea, but one thing's for sure, I'm glad things never really progressed.  Now would be a fine time for Kristin to go over her HPV stats again...

Psycho guy just sent me another email this morning.  It said, "I sent you photos and numerous emails.  Have you rejected me?"  No shit, Sherlock!  It has me a little unnerved, and I just hope he can't track me down.  No real info tied to that email account, I think.  I know he won't get my real name from it, and that gives me some sense of security.

This was my least successful ad to date.  I did meet one guy, who is really cute, but really young.  Let's just say, there's a double digit age difference between us.  I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with that.  Add in to that the fact that he's in the Navy, and will be getting shipped out to Hawaii in two months.  I have to admit, I'm not looking for a quick fling.  At least, I don't want to go into something already knowing that it has a short shelf life.  On the other hand, I am jumping the gun.  I might meet him and find out that we have absolutely no chemistry and I'm worrying about something for nothing.  So should I or shouldn't I meet him for a drink?  You decide.

I just had a creepy Craigslist experience.  Thank God it wasn't in person, it was only thru e-mail, and thru my specially made email just for those kinds of things.  I just had a guy get all desperate and flip out on me.  My post was very specific about what I was looking for - a skinny hipster doofus white boy, who doesn't look over 30, and I only wanted respectable photos.  I'm so tired of getting cock shots.  And while I'm sure you're quite proud of your tool, I'm more interested in what the rest of you looks like, thanks!

Anyway, this guy emails me and doesn't understand what I mean by respectable photos.  Whatever, I explain that I don't want to see random body shots.  "Is a head and shoulders picture ok?"  Fine.  Well, somehow, this guy thinks that we have some sort of relationship now that I've responded to his email.  He sends a picture and he's this 45 year old fat dude.  His email also just comes across as very desperate.  He thinks Asian women are so beautiful, the most beautiful in the world, blah, blah, blah.  He knows how to treat his significant other.  He'll take her shopping if that's what she enjoys.  Right away, I know he's not the one, and I just don't respond.  Is that poor internet etiquette?  I don't know.  Isn't it just an unspoken rule that no response means not interested?  I've never been offended by a guy not responding when I've written in response to their ad or sent a wink, etc.  You just shrug it off and move on.  Apparently, this guy doesn't understand that.  He resends his photo and a copy of the long rambling email that he wrote - just in case it got lost in space.  I don't respond.  His next email says, "I hope you're just really busy and nothing has happened to you!  I hope everything's ok!"  He sends me 5 more emails in less than 24 hours.  His final one says, "I guess your non response is your response.  I don't know what I did to deserve this.  I thought we had something, but I guess I was wrong. "  He then practically accuses me of leading him on.  WTF?  I wasn't overly friendly or anything in my email to him.  It was very cut and dry, just the facts and short answers to his questions.  Thank god I didn't send him my photo or any kind of personal info.  There are some serious wackos out there.

I just had one.  I'm not sure why it took me so long.  I was just thinking about how I am never ever going to have sex again, much less a first date.  I look at all the guys on Nerve and not one of them appeals to me.  I put an ad up on Craigslist and I've had a good number of responses, but again, nothing remotely interesting. 
Anyway, I started thinking about BPM again.  And I thought about the day I had asked him if he wanted to go to the Japanese mall with me.  He had spent the night and the next day I wanted to go to the mall.  He had expressed interest in going, but that day he opted to go home instead.  It wasn't a big deal at the time.  It wasn't a big deal until now.  Why?  Because It just dawned on me that he decided to go home because he was going out on a date with the young girl that night!  WTF?  He went from my bed to a date with another girl???  God, I was so stupid, and he really was quite an asshole.  

Show us something fresh.

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I made this yummy salad for a BBQ last weekend. 

It's amazing to me how quickly Matty can fall into (and out of) relationships.  He has another new girlfriend.  Since January, he's gone from Elizabeth to Dina to Melissa.  I guess I should be proud of the fact that I kept him interested for 3 months!  Sheesh.  Looking back, that wasn't the best relationship.  It was though, the most fun.

Dating Site Uses DNA Tests to Match Couples

by Dan Reilly, posted Jul 22nd 2008 at 4:17PM

Forget the questionnaires used by companies like eHarmony – it's time to bring serious chemistry into online dating. For $199, you provide Genepartner.com with a swab of your saliva and they'll analyze your DNA to genetically set you up with a partner. Sounds pretty futuristic, right? Well, not exactly.

The Swiss company isn't looking for genes that control metabolism or your propensity for brunettes. Rather, they're looking for your human leukocyte antigen, or HLA, molecules, which play a role in the immune system. Researchers found that people are more attracted to those with the most different HLA molecules from themselves.

The research was conducted on existing couples and their genetic combinations, and the service is also available for pairs who want to see how compatible they are. So, will this be the new trend in dating, or will personality and physical attraction still win out? Either way, at least you know the people here aren't putting up profile pictures from a few dozen pounds ago. [Source: Genepartner.com via TechCrunch]

I have a huge confession.  I never got my degree.  I was only 2 credits short, but was lured away by my dream job.  I quit and never looked back.  That is, I never looked back until a few weeks ago.  I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life since I was laid off, and it's been pretty discouraging seeing that everyone is looking for someone with a degree.  Any kind of degree! 

I've been feeling like there are lots of things that I just need to wrap up and finish.  There have been so many loose ends to my life.  The process really started last year.  I was the last person in my family to become an American citizen.  I don't have a real reason for why I waited so long.  I came to the US when I was one, so I've never known any other life than that of an American.  Last year, I finally started the process.  On June 11 of this year, I was finally sworn in.  I can scratch that off the list.  Done.

The next thing to tackle is finishing school.  I've been gone so long, that it took my school 2 weeks to dig out my transcripts.  They had to go to some deep storage facility!  Since I've been gone, the school has gone through many changes, and I find myself with too many elective credits, and not enough requirements.  I spoke to my advisor and the plan is to try to get an exception for the missing requirements and science credit.  I can use my life experiences to make up those credits.  That eases my mind.  I just need to write 3 letters explaining why I should "test out" of Writing for Managers, and Finance.  Besides, I could technically be a success story for the school.  I had a nice, long career in my declared major.  All the kids in that major now won't be able to say that.  Hell, I've had enough life experience to teach a class!

trapperkeeper.jpg

So I begin a new journey.  I'm off to discover myself (again).  I've registered for a few classes that sound really interesting.  I'm excited and looking forward to buying a new Trapper Keeper for my stuff!  This is a replica of the one I remember carrying around in the 8th grade...

I'm giddy thinking about the new school semester.  I'll have to buy Back to School clothes!  What should I wear on my first day?

I'll have to admit that the other reason I want to go back to school is because I want to expand my social circle.  Wouldn't it be great if I met some new people while expanding my mind?  The way I look at it, once I've knocked this off the list, the only thing left is to meet my future husband.

Yesterday, I went to see Cirque Shanghai with my gay pal Chaka and his club friends.  These kids are all in their early 20s.  Imagine all the guys looking like the Gotti boys.   Lovely.

Gotti

The Chinese acrobats were incredibly flexible and strong and that led to comments like, "You know that all Asian girls are freaks in bed!"   "Ooh!  I'd like to fuck that one!"  "They're so small, I'll take two!"   They were so crass and such pigs.   As the only Asian girl in the group, their comments really made me uncomfortable.  One of these guys (Scuba) is the one who, when I first met him, told me that he liked brunettes and had slept with over 100 girls (and he's only 24!).  Yeah, stay classy Scuba!

I love my pal Chaka, but I honestly don't know what he sees in these other guys.  Maybe he hangs with them because he just finds them all so attractive?  Ugh.  He can have them!

As I sit here on a Friday night, watching Bridget Jones's Diary for the 15th time (at least), I wonder if it's all her fault.  I remember when the book hit the scene and it was all the rage.  My girlfriends and I all took turns reading it and passing it around, and proudly proclaimed, "OMG!  That's sooooo me!"  We could all relate to Bridget.  She wasn't the thinnest girl.  She wasn't the prettiest, but she was the EVERY girl.  If things could work out for her, then they surely would work out for all of us in the same way. 

Bridget Jones's Diary was the book that birthed a whole "new" genre --- Brit Chick Lit, and I devoured every new tome.  Books by Jane Green, Wendy Holden, Isabel Wolff, Jenny Colgan, and on, and on and on.  I read them all!  It was always the same story.  Young girl in London, works in PR, has no boyfriend, has some wacky experiences, but always ends up with a great guy in the end.  I guess I expected that to happen to me --- just like Bridget.   I unwittingly patterned my life after those books.  I'm thinking that I set my expectations too high because my judgment was clouded by all those works of FICTION.  I'm waiting for my Mark Darcy and so far nothing.  Zilch.  Maybe I just need to move to London...